It started out as a typical day in Helena. I went to work, and made some new friends by spreading some love and cheer. Was feeling pretty motivated after work so I washed my truck. I noticed on my way home it was at half a tank, so I figured that before diesel went above $4/gallon, I would top her off. $70 later I had topped her off and was feeling pretty good like I received a reach-around. I headed home and decided that it was time to do a little spring dog crap cleanup.
Now with two labs and a fenced yard this is no small task, so I did what any good Irishman would do, I drank a Guinness to get excited about the process (currently $20 for an 18 pack at Costco). Anyway, after the appropriate mental prep, I double-bagged my plastic grocery bags, put on my treadless poop picking up shoes, and strapped on the latex gloves and headed out into the backyard to remove a winters worth of dog shit. YEEEHAAAA!
Although the cleanup of the backyard is an achievement in itself, it is certainly not Blogworthy. So there I am, back hurting, carpenter crack exposed, my poop bag mostly filled, and am standing smack dab in the middle of dog poop corner. When I see a sparkle, a shiny treasure in the midst of a sea of excrement, and there it was, a marble. A marble like I had never seen before. It wasn’t necessarily incorporated into the poop, but adjacent to it. My mind contemplated where this marble could have come from and immediately I thought…damnit, I never should have bought Ed Jr. that wrist rocket. The little punk is shooting at the dogs. Whoa, wait, he isn’t born yet. Well where else could this marble have come from…hmmmm…
At New Years, Miles was diagnosed with glaucoma and they took his eye. We spent $650 on the surgery and $13.50 on a prosthetic eye that they sewed beneath his eyelid. Recently Miles’ eye cavity started depressing and now is like a deep cavern. I called the vet and she said his body most likely absorbed the prosthetic. I am thinking that somehow he passed it. I’ve searched Google and all over the place and can’t find any photos of a canine prosthetic eye. I figure that the next time I go to the vet, I’ll slap the marble on the counter and ask for my $13.50 refund, and see what happens. Cheers!
3 comments:
Give up the $13.50 and make a necklace out the prosthetic.
Thats just wrong
Riddle me this:
How does a marble in a eye socket get passed thru the sphincter?
Seems like an anotomical impossibility..I mean it's not like absorbing a thorn or something...take a look at a deer skull and show me the path...hmmmm....
Perhaps he shook or scratched it out...? hell, maybe the resonant vibration from a squeak shot it out...?
a mystery indeed. maybe the eyeball is still in there!
They had to break your jaw so you could breath better. That is a bit of a mind blower as well.
I sure don't understand it all and am not sure the marble came out of his arse, or if it even is the prosthetic. Which is why I called it a mystery. I am going to bring it to the vet the next time, and am going to ask though, and see if the mystery can be solved.
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